Monday Meme Madness

Stole this from Jessa, who stole it from TX Poppet. This made the rounds originally as a list from a men’s magazine, and people originally posted about their husbands, but now it’s mutated into things I can do….

The Rules: Bold the things you can do and you leave in normal type the things you can’t. Sarcastic comments in parenthesis are encouraged.

1. (Even used it this week “Don’t shit where you eat”, borrowed from Moonstruck, meaning don’t find dating prospects at work!)
2. (Yep. Good at it. I poke holes in stories. Often.)
3. . (Frequently found behind the camera. Be the subject of a photo? Hardly ever happens.)
4. Score a baseball game. (Now why would I want to do that? If you asked if I know how to score a swim meet, I’d be able to say yes. How many people can say THAT? I don’t think you can!)
5. (Just one?)
6. (Hmm, I devote one day a week on the blog to writing about music. I’m not obsessed. Uh uh, not me…)
7. Not monopolize the conversation. (I have to really think about this one to effectively do it. This stays in the unbolded column. What a surprise)
8. (Email. Written letters, I’m very good at writing, not so good at mailing.)
9. (Now, I knwo the mechanics of Butterfly, but I can’t get that darn second kick in, otherwise I could say four.)
10. (I don’t do sucking up. I want to sucker punch those who feel the need to suck up to me)
11. Throw a punch. (Know how to do? Heck yeah. Want to ruin about 100k investment in various wrist surgeries? That’s a resounding NO)
12. (What do you want? Sangria, Mojito, Pineapple Bombs, Bay Breezes, Bellini, Mimosa, etc?)
13. Speak a foreign language. (Can I count pig latin? Didn’t think so…)
14. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer. (Haven’t had much exposure to any Europeans to even consider this skill as being one)
15. (Beyond what others feel is necessary)
16. (Yep. That’s a piece of cake. Knowing what to order in the fast food drive through? That’s tough)
17. fish snakes off my shoulder and out of the swimming pool!)
18. Play gin with an old guy. (I know how, but the opportunity has not presented itself. Unbolded.)
19. (Yep, though the game player grows bored with such games. He’ll play board games with you instead)
20. (I have an Aspie. I think that’s a requirement)
21. (Just because I can doesn’t mean I do, though)
22. ( Well enough that I send people scrambling to write down the wines I suggest.)
23. (I think I should have a masters in ‘keeping your shitbox car running’ from my younger years.)
24. Make three different bets at a craps table. (All I know is snake eyes are bad, m’kay?)
25. (Oooh, ahhh, impressive…)
26. (What did the blonde say when the doctor told her she was pregnant?)
27. Know when to split his cards in blackjack. (Something about parting with my money has made this a skill unlearned.)
28. (I practice this every day)
29. (I speak in tip. Good tip. That says plenty)
30. (Simple. Assign a word that you wouldn’t ordinarily use to the treat of choice. For example “Goodie”. Say assigned word. Dog will do whatever you command to get the treat. Brilliance, I say.)
31. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help. (That’s what a techie husband is all about! I don’t have to do that. Now, if you asked install a hard drive, modem, build furniture or something like that, I’m your woman)
32.. (And directions, if I needed them.)
33. Break another man’s grip on my wrist.( If my wrists weren’t so screwed up, I’d say yes.)
34. (23 years of retail, baby, I can even tell a man his waist and inseam!)
35. ( To see a world in a grain of sand..)
36. (I have two boys. Nuff said.)
37. ( Ask Ed or the kids if you don’t believe me…)
38. .(For someone else? Heck yeah. For me? I’d rather starve. Eggs are yucky)
39. (start the campfire songs and s’mores preparations, too.)
40. (Its part of my job description, no matter where I go.)
41. (You can take the girl out of New York, but you can’t take the New York out of the girl)
42. (Thankfully, those days are over…)
43. . (Honestly, Tom Tom should have been named Sue Sue. It pisses Ed off. Royally)
44. (Now theres a Soundtrack Sunday idea!)
45. (Um, its the guy from the Toy Story movies…)
46. (Just because I can doesn’t mean that I do))
47. (Got allergies? Then you know how loyal one can be to cleansers that don’t make you scratch!)
48. (Remember, they should have named Tom Tom after me. Sue Sue. Mama Schweitzer was onto something!)
49. (Okay, since this wasn’t qualified by ‘in a cherry stem with your tongue, then I definitely can do this!)
50. ( Part of the job, thank you!)

Tag: plenty of fish