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Cabal-o-vision experts have been looking at the white division with interest, as the draw just seems not to favour certain teams. The dark elves, the Dodgers, for example, have been drawn into their first two matches against Dwarf teams, noted for their specific training at dealing with dodging opponents. 90% of our viewers responded to the question “What team would you least like to oppose if you were called the ‘Dodgers’” with “Dwarves.”
On the other hand, the mysterious head coach of the dodgers seems unfazed by the stunty challenge, as his team heads into tonight’s match against Underland with a squad of only 11 players and having only had one team training session before the match. Standard tactics seem to be to “Elf this one up.”
As the teams line up on the pitch, Underland, fresh from their victory against the chaotic Friendly Chaps look unimpressed by their agile elven opponents. The weather is clear, and the kick is good… Very good, the looks like it’s landing in the Dwarven End Zone! The dwarves short legs are going to be a hindrance there, but they do seem very dangerous over short distances, as they get the half moving with a Quick Snap. The Front line begins to do what they do best, hammering into the Elves. The Dwarven Runners hustle back, but it’s going to be the Blitzers who have to man-up and take charge of the ball.
The Dark Elves aren’t going to take this one lying down, and a witch elf, Rua Tipoki dances though the dwarf lines and makes a bee-line for Snorri Bighammer, the Blitzer with the ball. A lone witch elf shouldn’t put too much of a threat to a dwarf team, but by Nuffle the Underlanders are making a tough job of it. They manage to knock her
down, but the ball carrier’s escort is looking a bit light… The Elves respond with a will and tie down the Blitzer and Runner providing backup (metaphorically, it must be stressed: these are dark Elves!) Tipoki Jumps to her feet and in a Frenzy of motion sends Snorri sprawling. The ball breaks loose, and the elf sprints off away from the fighting.
The Dwarves, really on the back foot now attempt to engage the elves, but Longbeard Thorvard Warcrafter, who has managed to dance away from his marker as though he belonged on the other side finds that the witch elf is a lot tougher than she looks, and is left clutching his bits in pain. Tipoki heads to the line, but appears to be taunting the Dwarves by hovering near their end-zone. Thormond Thronebreaker lumbers after her, and teaches her the error of her ways, but stumbles over her prone form going for the ball, and is left stunned himself. Lifimi Mafi, the other witch elf has to sprint as fast has her long elven legs will carry her to retrieve the ball and dives over the line for the touch down.
0-1 Dodgers
Underland line up to recieve, this time expecting a kick to their back field, and are prepared for it when it comes, landing again in their End Zone. The front line gets to grips with their opponents to the roars of the crowd. The dwarves smash home, knocking out an elf and making the followers of Khaine wish they’d never met them! The blitzers try to advance, but find their way blocked by elves, so, in true Dwarf fashion, they decide to go through them for a short cut.
The Dodgers are forced into a classic grinding defence, and it’s beginning to cost them. No-one has been badly hurt yet, but it’s only a matter of time as the dwarves slowly push forwards. Bighammer has made a break for it, little legs going like fury, but the dwarves seem intent on causing as much damage to their opponents as possible: they’re going to have to watch out, the clock really is ticking! Lifimi Mafi is left in a crumpled heap on the ground and shows no signs of movement, but she’s been carried off to safety, and no-one’s sent for coffin-maker, so that’s a good sign.
And… What’s this? Fili Disson seems to be making a run for it. He’ll never make it in time from there: even a Gutter Runner couldn’t do that! He’s just thrown it! The Dwarf has thrown the ball! And “Sloshed” Bighammer has caught it! Are Dwarves even allowed to do that? Bighammer’s sauntering down the pitch, the Referee is looking at his watch and… Snorri makes it! The crowd look stunned!
1-1 All Square
The Referee signals that the teams have to line up for a kick-off just before half time. The Dwarves look angry. Just as Tipoki sets herself up to lay into the dwarves, Thorin Thundereater lashes out with a fist, and leaves her sprawling as he leads his companions off for their half-time beer.
The dwarves wobble slightly as they come out after half time, but expert kicker Glod Snorrison kicks it high and short, almost as though doing for a garyowen. Magnus Magnusson has a moment’s hesitation: looks like he may be seeing double (even if he were, he’d only see 16 elves), but his training takes over and he brings yet another elf crashing to the ground. The Dwarves grind forwards, but Tipoki, enraged by the injury to her coven-mate slips through the lines, heading for the line, determined to punish the dwarves the elven way: in the score-line. Kili and Snorri knock her to the ground, though, and Fili Disson cynically takes advantage of that to put the boot in. There’s a sickening crunch which the ref hears and sends the “Pickled” one off, but Tipoki has to be dragged back to her dugout.
There are now seven elves facing ten dwarves, and the situation looks grim. In desperation, the Dodgers try to mix it up, but the dwarves are happy to let the elves play them at their own game, and after a few moments, reduce the Elves to 4 battered survivors. As Kili Datson makes a break for it, escorted by two Longbeards and a Blitzer, he’s set upon by one of the elf Blitzers. The pointy eared one manages to land a painful blow, winding the young rising star and making off with the ball, but is quickly brought crashing back down again. Thormond Thronebreaker makes his move with the ball, but that Blitzer just doesn’t want to give up, and manages to make an nuisance of himself. Despite being surrounded by bearded ones, he keepms managing to pull it off. This is looking worrying for Rhy Khin’s team, as the clock begins to wind down… In the dying moments od the game, Datson, forewarned manages to stick out a fist and connect with something important, leaving the elf curled in a ball of pain on the ground before stepping in for the touchdown just as the referee blows his whistle.
2-1 Underland final score.
Match statistics
Underland - Dodgers
TD 2 - 1
Cas 3 - 0
Fans 14000 - 12000
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