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My Top 3 |
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me: M, did i ever tell you that I am fortunate to have an understanding friend like you! I have always cherished your company. Our match so well! A friend like you is a precious gem.. hard to find ..difficult to part with and treasured forever….The world would be a beautiful place if everyone had a friend like you!….Friends like you are a blessing! coz they spread an everlasting happiness all around….
M was totally unmoved
M: cut the crap! tell me what do you want now? and stop picking up senti lines from eCard websites!
didn’t i tell you that we just click..
me: he he he.. me thoda financially tight.. need some hari patti.
M: dude, its only first week of the month n u r out of cash??
convincing M was not easy. For situations like these, i had my tried and tested formula. An emotional blackmail by shamelessly delivering the rip off dialogues from Sholay and pointing out that Jai did everything for his dear pal Veeru, works like a charm every time! M goes senti over Sholay!
M: dramebaaz *sigh*.. but tell me what do you need it for?
me:umm.. i have a date tomorrow.
let me call my date amisha.. why amisha?? well, for one to maintain anonymity and also that was the time when she was one of my fave actress. I did not miss any of her movies even though she behaved like a patient suffering from acute asthma when she delivered an emotional rone-dhone ka dialogue! won’t do? okie.. lets call her madhubala then..
M: *shocked* how the hell did YOU manage a date?!! You are neither a stud nor the studious type, he blurted out!
getting a date for me is as difficult as the addition of the number 128 to 7865 for Paris Hilton when a calculator is not around. True friends there! they never let you have a false impression of yourself.
me: its kinda complex man.
M: i thought she wouldn’t have agreed even if u managed to make her believe that u were the only guy left on the face of this earth!
me:well, i told her that my aunt’s brother’s friend has a friend whose sister stays with a roommate whose brother is on good terms with Shahrukh Khan’s hairstylist. I promised her an autograph from the King Khan with a message specially written for her!
M: still! he nodded his head in disbelief.. anyways.. have u planned anything for the date?
me: bro! i had been doing that all morning. I have chalked out plan for the perfect date! I’ll ask her to meet me near the movie theater. They are playing Austin powers - ‘The Spy Who Shagged Me!’…Dr Evil, Mini-me….Its hilarious man!
“Yeah baby”…
then we go to XYZ restaurant. the chicken tandoori is a delicacy there.
Austin powers.. grand chicken feast! voilà ! I have a guaranteed perfect date!!
M goes speechless for a moment. I knew he was impressed with my plan!
M: dude, u wasted the whole morning planning this? The efficiency of your plan lies somewhere between that of Maria Sharapova’s 5 yr development plan of rural India and Rakhi Sawant’s proposal for this year’s financial budget. You expect her to travel all the way to watch Mike Myers ripping off his pants and showing his hairy chest!then watch u hog on the tandoori…even the Neanderthal man would have better table manners than u! and as far as I know your date is a vegetarian!
me: oops! what now?
M: consult G and C. they might help you out!
G and C were the acclaimed dating gurus of our hostel.
Rumor has it that a chat friend of G from Lahore was so impressed, that she had almost made up her mind to fly down to meet him, had it not been the visa issues at the last moment!
the dating course was comprehensive and generally took significant duration for successful completion but owing to the shortage of time, I was imparted a crash course customized to serve my basic needs..
After the date as I returned to my hostel room. I found M waiting for me. There was a whole lot of junta waiting too..
News here travels fast…
M: how did it go?
me: i think she liked my company! I might hear from her…
before i cud complete…my cell phone rings with madhubala’s number flashing on the screen! M was skeptical, the junta overjoyed(fraternity celebrations) and as for me, I was in my dreamland..
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